Thursday, December 7, 2006

Top Ten Reasons I HATE Wal-Mart

10. I go in to buy a couple things but end up spending no less than $50 every freaking time.

9. They have, like, 75 check-out stands but only ever have about five open at one time.

8. When I walk in the doors I'm greeted by pounds and pounds of tantalizing chocolate that causes me, against my better judgement, to purchase not one but TWO treats. And, because I'm so overwhelmed and dizzy, my reading skills are shot and instead of buying the minty version of After Eights, I accidentally buy the Irish Cream! Siiiiiiiick!

7. I think it's wrong that I can now buy cheese and milk and sausage in a department store.

6. McDonald's spouts out its addicting french fry scent. Gets me almost every time.

5. The most convenient time to go there is after work, when I'm STARVING and weak.

4. Because I'm starving, I scarf down vast amounts of chocolate in my car on the way home. Then feel not so hot.

3. There are too many people. I mean, I like people, but Wal-Mart makes me hate them. Especially when they are in front of me in line or competing with me to cart through the aisles.

2. It is a multi-national corporation that is taking over the world, one small business at a time.

1. I go there even though I despise it -- because it is so darned cheap. And I hate myself for it.


P.S. I just thought I'd mention that today is my special friend's birthday. He also hates Wal-Mart, which is why he's getting a birthday present - and because he has a nice... personality.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

that "..." before "personality" makes me think that you were thinking of something else.

the soul of a woman is a truly a deep, deep mystery.

unless you were going to say "bum," in which case the previous statement is withdrawn.

Anonymous said...

he does have a nice bum... i can tell you first hand

Blake W said...

I did the very same thing yesterday at Walmart. I had a mental list of about 3 things I needed.....my total at the checkout, $48.00

I am a xangan dropping by to say hello after reading chubs' advertisement of your blog on his blog.

Anonymous said...

You know, I could never put how I feel about Walmart into words, but that just about sums it up!! Plus during the snowy/icy weather they never put salt on the parking lot so I almost fell a ton of times. It was so bad I was tempted to crawl:)

Andrea

Rachel said...

i just want to say thanx for rubbing off on good ol' andy. he needed a little "womanly" influence in his life! plus he seems pretty darn happy these days, so kudos to you (as i think you are likely responsible).

by the way, as a struggling college student, i have to disagree...i may start a list of top ten reasons i LOVE walmart! don't hate me cuz i'm poor =(

Anonymous said...

OH MAN! I totally hear you! Thank you for putting into words the vices of Walmart. I am addicted to it (sadly) but now I see that I should wean myself off of it. The chocolate too. Oh sigh, I just got off a 2 week cruise and I weight 800lbs!! I am an oompa loompa. Love you, baby!!

Anonymous said...

You have expressed my words exactly. Just the thought of that place gives me a headache.
So exciting to see you finally writing.... :)
~Maria

Anonymous said...

haha oh walmart.
but at least you sort of get a deal.
the other day i went in there to buy granola bars and i walked out with: hair dye, hair elastics, shampoo, conditioner, chocolate, a new shirt...
it's a little ridiculous. but sometimes i feel like i get my money's worth.
other times i just feel like an idiot. thank goodness for the 90 return policy. i didn't even want to dye my hair.

"littlekrissyd"