Eats, shoots, and leaves

This post is dedicated to Miss Smith.

Most people assume that once English teachers leave the confines of their classrooms, they continue obsessively proofreading wherever they go. You know, they take out their Sharpies mid-squat in the bathroom stalls and place an 're to the "your a b--ch." Or they ask for the manager at Red Robin because they were a little too heavy with the apostrophes on their nacho's. Or they giggle with glee when they find a red pen in their purses to more effectively correct the errors in the church bulletins (far more entertaining than sudoku could ever be).

I was going to write about being a nerd. I was inspired by my evening of tootling around on the computer with Lord of the Rings playing on the TV in the background. I then reached for a cookie and couldn't help but notice that my sinful little mini sandwiches are called Double Stuf Oreos. And I think it was at that point the English teacher in me began to rage. I inhaled dramatically and sort of got some cookie crumbs lodged in my lungs or something. I started mumbling about how it's no wonder my students can't spell worth sheet. I automatically had a list run through my head of all the companies trying to be all hip and stuf with their marketing. Like, for instance, I hate it when restaurants write "late nite" on their signs. Oooh, what about "drive thru?" Ca man! Put a little more f into the "effing" part of market-effing-strategy.

You can check out the messed up grocers' signs to test your editing skills. It's fun.