Today I had my back to my class and was in the process of erasing the board. You would find me in this position many times during the day. However, this time, this time it hit me funny.
How did this (massive hand gesture) happen?
It's like I woke up one day and was all growed up. I was erasing stuff I WROTE on the board. It was MY MARKER. They were MY STUDENTS. I'm the... teacher? Weird.
I sort of paused in my erasing, and stood there blinking for a couple seconds.
Do you ever get hit by one of these moments? It's a moment that finds you maybe going over your charts at the hospital, or reapplying lipstick before walking into a board meeting, or making sure all the documents have been signed properly or the lawn mower has enough gas. It's a moment where what you're doing just seems utterly absurd.
This is ME?
Huh.
Why yes, I guess this is me.
A blink.
A breath.
A heartbeat.
A blink.
A shake.
A passing.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
The Winds Beneath My Wings
When I got hired on, there were several gals who were young, single, and ripe for marriage (and naturally not an eligible male teacher was to be seen!). It was an extremely fun working environment. Whenever a new job posting would come up, I'd run into the principal's office and strongly suggest that they hire a sexy, smart, fun, musical, and generally amazing guy. I thought they should make all applications come with photo identification (yes, I have the makings of administration written all over me). However, deep down I didn't want them to hire some amazing man. I didn't want us to all fall in love with him and begin to fight and get catty and be generally ridiculous (as women are sometimes prone to doing over such things).
A few years went by. The girls got together for movie nights, sushi outings, Oscar parties, breakfasts at Ricky's, long jogs, wine tours, and marking parties. We became used to jokes by our students about us being spinsters forevermore (and, truthfully, a stab of fear would go through my heart each time). We also got used to being set up with nice young men by our students' well-meaning parents (happened to me TWICE).
The name tags on our doors remained the same, but we were content because "at least we had each other." We recognized the unique nature of this stage in our lives when we could all be at the same place, in the same place. Inevitably, things were bound to change; we decided to suck the marrow out of each moment we had together. (I'm really not meaning for this to sound so cheesily cliche -- I'm just a cheese-ball by nature.)
Then the wind shifted -- a strong wind. Last year began a serious landslide of romance. Out of literally nowhere came an onslaught of Godly, solid men! And they were attractive! Suddenly we were spending our week nights and weekends differently: some of us hopped on boats, or planes, or the Coquihalla; some of us had new friends to get to know; some of us had new family outings to attend. It was glorious and exciting, busy and nutty, but part of me was saddened.
I missed my girls. Sharing a quick update in the photocopier room, or in the hallway, or at lunch, or after school, or in the parking lot, just didn't seem the same. There just isn't room anymore, it seems, for all that we used to do together. We are all extremely excited for this new chapter in our lives (don't get me wrong), but there is still something to be said for singledom.
I look back now on all the years of opportunities I've had, friends I've made, and lives I've touched, and realize that a lot of that was possible because I was single. Man, if only I'd looked more carefully -- more deliberately -- in that place while I was in it. The grass was rich, and strong, and cushioning, and just different from the grass now between my toes.
A few years went by. The girls got together for movie nights, sushi outings, Oscar parties, breakfasts at Ricky's, long jogs, wine tours, and marking parties. We became used to jokes by our students about us being spinsters forevermore (and, truthfully, a stab of fear would go through my heart each time). We also got used to being set up with nice young men by our students' well-meaning parents (happened to me TWICE).
The name tags on our doors remained the same, but we were content because "at least we had each other." We recognized the unique nature of this stage in our lives when we could all be at the same place, in the same place. Inevitably, things were bound to change; we decided to suck the marrow out of each moment we had together. (I'm really not meaning for this to sound so cheesily cliche -- I'm just a cheese-ball by nature.)
Then the wind shifted -- a strong wind. Last year began a serious landslide of romance. Out of literally nowhere came an onslaught of Godly, solid men! And they were attractive! Suddenly we were spending our week nights and weekends differently: some of us hopped on boats, or planes, or the Coquihalla; some of us had new friends to get to know; some of us had new family outings to attend. It was glorious and exciting, busy and nutty, but part of me was saddened.
I missed my girls. Sharing a quick update in the photocopier room, or in the hallway, or at lunch, or after school, or in the parking lot, just didn't seem the same. There just isn't room anymore, it seems, for all that we used to do together. We are all extremely excited for this new chapter in our lives (don't get me wrong), but there is still something to be said for singledom.
I look back now on all the years of opportunities I've had, friends I've made, and lives I've touched, and realize that a lot of that was possible because I was single. Man, if only I'd looked more carefully -- more deliberately -- in that place while I was in it. The grass was rich, and strong, and cushioning, and just different from the grass now between my toes.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
From the Cave
All right, the rumors are true. I have, in fact, signed up for Facebook: I am a weak, miserable being. Because I've dedicated so much blog time to that particular website, I will simply say that I find connecting with old friends cool, but I'm glad I still have a blog. My fingers just aren't satisfied by a line on a wall here and there. Anyway, if you're my friend, you can add me -- and I just might accept you (however, I've been declining most students and past students -- if that's you, don't be offended).
In other news, one of my friends turned thirty this weekend. Yes, he is now part of the next DECADE, and we ushered him in with style. A bunch of us went out on the balcony (in bare feet) and puffed away on some cigars. I love smoking cigars cuz I always feel like I'm in an old movie and I keep reaching for my glass of brandy (I found none; I guess the party only had SOME style...). We attempted some smoking tricks and I pretty much coughed my guts out. And then I spit a lot over the railing -- so attractive. The thing with cigars that is not so swell, though, is that your clothes reek afterwards. I wore a new shirt that evening, and now I have to WASH IT, which I wasn't planning on doing for at least three more donnings.
In other news, one of my friends turned thirty this weekend. Yes, he is now part of the next DECADE, and we ushered him in with style. A bunch of us went out on the balcony (in bare feet) and puffed away on some cigars. I love smoking cigars cuz I always feel like I'm in an old movie and I keep reaching for my glass of brandy (I found none; I guess the party only had SOME style...). We attempted some smoking tricks and I pretty much coughed my guts out. And then I spit a lot over the railing -- so attractive. The thing with cigars that is not so swell, though, is that your clothes reek afterwards. I wore a new shirt that evening, and now I have to WASH IT, which I wasn't planning on doing for at least three more donnings.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
I do run, run, run
Whenever spring rolls around, I usually get the itch to start working out. My idea of "working out" does not include a gym membership, however. I learned that lesson a couple years ago. True, for a few months of my fancy-schmancy gym membership I got up early, crawled into my workout gear, and sleepily DROVE to the gym. I would do my thing, get home, shower, go to work, and drink lots of water all day. It was amazing, though short-lived. I am not a morning person, and I get a little bit stifled in gyms. Tread-mills are not really my friends (one time I dropped my water bottle while running on the tread-mill, and when I tried to retrieve it, my balance was thrown off -- as was I).
I'm pretty famous for paying for stuff I don't use and/or need. If I were to add up all the money I've wasted over the years from not cancelling or properly setting up stuff, it would certainly depress me and paint me in quite the negative light. Suffice it to say that it took me until the end of my contract year to cancel my membership. Oops.
Now, whenever I get the urge to be active, I strap on my runners and hit the road. I can focus on the birds chirping, I can count stuff, I can snoop in people's gardens, run through the occasional sprinkler, race bunnies, and let my pride keep me from stopping (I hate it when cars driving by see me start to walk -- they witness me giving up on a long hill, or just a stretch of pure, hot sun).
Yesterday I began my running regime once again. Usually, though, I start much sooner in the year. I figure I've run out of excuses, so I'd better get my jiggling butt in gear.
And so I ran. And ran. And walked TWICE -- grrrrr. Then I got back to my classroom (cuz I ran right after school), plopped myself in my chair to have a bit of water. I was distracted, however, by colleagues coming in to chat. We chatted. I stayed in my chair. When they left, I got up out of my chair, and almost COLLAPSED. Some swear words may have been uttered within my sacred Christian school walls. My muscles are still sore. I guess stretching really is important.
Then, of course, comes the best part of working out: the tendency to eat healthier. Sore muscles are good reminders when being tantalized by plates of cookies. However, I've only just begun the healthy run, so my resolve is not that strong quite yet. Last night I had some cookies and a bowl of Heavenly Hash ice cream. And it was all so, so heavenly.
I'm pretty famous for paying for stuff I don't use and/or need. If I were to add up all the money I've wasted over the years from not cancelling or properly setting up stuff, it would certainly depress me and paint me in quite the negative light. Suffice it to say that it took me until the end of my contract year to cancel my membership. Oops.
Now, whenever I get the urge to be active, I strap on my runners and hit the road. I can focus on the birds chirping, I can count stuff, I can snoop in people's gardens, run through the occasional sprinkler, race bunnies, and let my pride keep me from stopping (I hate it when cars driving by see me start to walk -- they witness me giving up on a long hill, or just a stretch of pure, hot sun).
Yesterday I began my running regime once again. Usually, though, I start much sooner in the year. I figure I've run out of excuses, so I'd better get my jiggling butt in gear.
And so I ran. And ran. And walked TWICE -- grrrrr. Then I got back to my classroom (cuz I ran right after school), plopped myself in my chair to have a bit of water. I was distracted, however, by colleagues coming in to chat. We chatted. I stayed in my chair. When they left, I got up out of my chair, and almost COLLAPSED. Some swear words may have been uttered within my sacred Christian school walls. My muscles are still sore. I guess stretching really is important.
Then, of course, comes the best part of working out: the tendency to eat healthier. Sore muscles are good reminders when being tantalized by plates of cookies. However, I've only just begun the healthy run, so my resolve is not that strong quite yet. Last night I had some cookies and a bowl of Heavenly Hash ice cream. And it was all so, so heavenly.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Final Comments
I received eight comments on my last post! Wheeeeeeeeee! I must have struck a chord. There are just a few more comments about Facebook I'd like to make:
1. Tracey knows me quite well. She taught me how to spit in grade six. If she says she will see my face in the book eventually, she's pretty much going to be right.
2. Danielle is also quite right: our society is becoming more and more connected through technology. I was anti-cell-phone for a long time; however, I had to get one eventually (and now I'm quite attached). After a year of deliberating, I got a blog (which I'm glad I finally caved on), and now I can stay connected to some of my friends from all over.
3. Danielle is right again: she knows stuff about me even though she hasn't technically seen me in three years, all because of this blog. However, I don't think there's quite as much information available on a blog as there is on F.B. Plus, only a handful of people read this blog, and a lot more people would see my F.B. (including students). If I were to sign up for F.B. I'm pretty sure I would have to be very careful what details I would include.
4. It is inevitable that I will get a Facebook account. That truly is the way it is. We are curious beings who don't like feeling out of the loop and who enjoy having fun and connecting with people. Something inside me still hesitates, though, and I will continue to hesitate as long as I can. I appreciate the Debs and Brads of the world who will stick it out with me, for however long it lasts.
5. OK, no more F.B. posts for a while.
~~~~~~
In other new, our school had its first Spring Fling banquet/dance last night. My Student Council was in charge of the program and pretty much filling in everything that wasn't already filled in. Let's just say I have eleven blisters and I was at the school until 11:30 last night. It was a NUTTY experience, but I think the kids had fun.
And today is Grad Skip Day, where the grads all skip and spend the day at the beach together. That means I only teach one class today!
1. Tracey knows me quite well. She taught me how to spit in grade six. If she says she will see my face in the book eventually, she's pretty much going to be right.
2. Danielle is also quite right: our society is becoming more and more connected through technology. I was anti-cell-phone for a long time; however, I had to get one eventually (and now I'm quite attached). After a year of deliberating, I got a blog (which I'm glad I finally caved on), and now I can stay connected to some of my friends from all over.
3. Danielle is right again: she knows stuff about me even though she hasn't technically seen me in three years, all because of this blog. However, I don't think there's quite as much information available on a blog as there is on F.B. Plus, only a handful of people read this blog, and a lot more people would see my F.B. (including students). If I were to sign up for F.B. I'm pretty sure I would have to be very careful what details I would include.
4. It is inevitable that I will get a Facebook account. That truly is the way it is. We are curious beings who don't like feeling out of the loop and who enjoy having fun and connecting with people. Something inside me still hesitates, though, and I will continue to hesitate as long as I can. I appreciate the Debs and Brads of the world who will stick it out with me, for however long it lasts.
5. OK, no more F.B. posts for a while.
~~~~~~
In other new, our school had its first Spring Fling banquet/dance last night. My Student Council was in charge of the program and pretty much filling in everything that wasn't already filled in. Let's just say I have eleven blisters and I was at the school until 11:30 last night. It was a NUTTY experience, but I think the kids had fun.
And today is Grad Skip Day, where the grads all skip and spend the day at the beach together. That means I only teach one class today!
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Theory of a Dead Post
People aren't posting as often anymore. Don't believe me? Well, you should, cuz I swear it's true, and I even have a few reasons for the trend.
1. It's a busy time of year -- yadda yadda yadda.
2. The weather is getting nicer, so people are outside gardening, pressure washing, playing tennis, and whatnot.
3. Facebook. Those who use it are spending more of their cyber-time there and so don't have as much time to write and/or have already used up what they would say on their Facebook "wall." I have mixed feelings about this. Perhaps those who blog for a creative outlet still write, and those who mostly blog to update their friends on their lives do not (Facebook is a quicker and more frequently read medium for some people). Maybe it's good to weed out the bloggers who write about what they fed their cats that day. Maybe blogs should remain for those who actually have something to say. (FYI: I'm not saying if you haven't posted lately, you are in the cat camp -- just saying I generally miss reading good thoughts.)
As one of the few still hesitant to join Facebook (and let me tell you, our numbers are dwindling faster than a bag of Cheetos at Youth Group), I keep checking blogs and getting no love . How am I supposed to unwind if there's nothing to read, and reading Facebook is not an option? I have to blame something, so Facebook will take the heat. And, for those of you avid Facebook users, remember: Big Brother is watching you. Watching EVERYTHING. Knows ALL of your personal information, regardless of how "secure" you think you are. I recently read an email that certainly freaked me out. Ask Chubs for it (cuz I read it over his shoulder).
Be careful little fingers what you write.
Be careful little fingers what you post.
Be careful little fingers where you lead.
1. It's a busy time of year -- yadda yadda yadda.
2. The weather is getting nicer, so people are outside gardening, pressure washing, playing tennis, and whatnot.
3. Facebook. Those who use it are spending more of their cyber-time there and so don't have as much time to write and/or have already used up what they would say on their Facebook "wall." I have mixed feelings about this. Perhaps those who blog for a creative outlet still write, and those who mostly blog to update their friends on their lives do not (Facebook is a quicker and more frequently read medium for some people). Maybe it's good to weed out the bloggers who write about what they fed their cats that day. Maybe blogs should remain for those who actually have something to say. (FYI: I'm not saying if you haven't posted lately, you are in the cat camp -- just saying I generally miss reading good thoughts.)
As one of the few still hesitant to join Facebook (and let me tell you, our numbers are dwindling faster than a bag of Cheetos at Youth Group), I keep checking blogs and getting no love . How am I supposed to unwind if there's nothing to read, and reading Facebook is not an option? I have to blame something, so Facebook will take the heat. And, for those of you avid Facebook users, remember: Big Brother is watching you. Watching EVERYTHING. Knows ALL of your personal information, regardless of how "secure" you think you are. I recently read an email that certainly freaked me out. Ask Chubs for it (cuz I read it over his shoulder).
Be careful little fingers what you write.
Be careful little fingers what you post.
Be careful little fingers where you lead.
Monday, May 7, 2007
Classic Moments
girl
boy
island
boat
late
run
drop shoe
drop shoe
"stop! you dropped your shoe(s)!"
deck
no jacket
shivering
sniffling
sunset
wedding
bride
groom
man tears
awwwwws
beef
beets
waxing trivia
kisses
bouquet toss
farewell
rock concert
bail
boy sick
girl old
couch
parents
National Geographic channel
Saturday night
fleece blanket
contentment
sniff
Sunday morning
church
notes
passed:
Dear Cheryl
Pee + poo
Dear Tiff
Which one is yellow and which one is brown?
I forget.
Dear Cheryl
Well, most often pee is yellow... but it can be many colours, even red if you eat beets. And poo... well poo can also be colours other than brown. For example, exorbitant amounts of Matcha turn it GREEN.
Hope that helps.
Sincerely,
Tiff
Dear Tiff,
I knew I could count on you to clear up this matter. Personally, I enjoy green pee. It just looks so refreshing! (And a bit like anti-freeze.)
With thanks,
Cheryl
Sweet Cheryl,
Thank you for sharing your personal favourite with me. Your openness and honesty bring a smile to my face.
Happily,
Tiffany
boy
island
boat
late
run
drop shoe
drop shoe
"stop! you dropped your shoe(s)!"
deck
no jacket
shivering
sniffling
sunset
wedding
bride
groom
man tears
awwwwws
beef
beets
waxing trivia
kisses
bouquet toss
farewell
rock concert
bail
boy sick
girl old
couch
parents
National Geographic channel
Saturday night
fleece blanket
contentment
sniff
Sunday morning
church
notes
passed:
Dear Cheryl
Pee + poo
Dear Tiff
Which one is yellow and which one is brown?
I forget.
Dear Cheryl
Well, most often pee is yellow... but it can be many colours, even red if you eat beets. And poo... well poo can also be colours other than brown. For example, exorbitant amounts of Matcha turn it GREEN.
Hope that helps.
Sincerely,
Tiff
Dear Tiff,
I knew I could count on you to clear up this matter. Personally, I enjoy green pee. It just looks so refreshing! (And a bit like anti-freeze.)
With thanks,
Cheryl
Sweet Cheryl,
Thank you for sharing your personal favourite with me. Your openness and honesty bring a smile to my face.
Happily,
Tiffany
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