Today I had my back to my class and was in the process of erasing the board. You would find me in this position many times during the day. However, this time, this time it hit me funny.
How did this (massive hand gesture) happen?
It's like I woke up one day and was all growed up. I was erasing stuff I WROTE on the board. It was MY MARKER. They were MY STUDENTS. I'm the... teacher? Weird.
I sort of paused in my erasing, and stood there blinking for a couple seconds.
Do you ever get hit by one of these moments? It's a moment that finds you maybe going over your charts at the hospital, or reapplying lipstick before walking into a board meeting, or making sure all the documents have been signed properly or the lawn mower has enough gas. It's a moment where what you're doing just seems utterly absurd.
This is ME?
Huh.
Why yes, I guess this is me.
A blink.
A breath.
A heartbeat.
A blink.
A shake.
A passing.
The Shell of a Nut
- Bott
- I've never broken any bones, though I've been in seven car accidents and I snowboard. I'm proud to be Canadian, yet I fall asleep during hockey games. I like people with warm hands and big hearts. I like cheese and being cheesy. I'm left-handed. I'm terrible with names. I take two scoops of sugar in my coffee. I've had four cavities (arg!). I'm a child of God. I believe in anti-gravity rooms. I'm plagued by rotting pumpkins. I have a real-life husband.
6 comments:
ya. fo shizzle. i saw a picture of my dad holding a bunch of kids and he looked like me, only in the photograph he was younger than me. I stared at it for a long time blinking, thinking... this is my dad... that's me.. and i'm older than him.
that one kept me blinking for days, actually.
So deep, and yet I have had a few of those moments!! I love how your able to grasp that feeling with words!
Andrea
I have that sometimes when I'm in my house (spelled a-p-a-r-t-m-e-n-t)and I realize that I OWN this place! My parents never even owned the houses they lived in (my dad is a pastor and we always lived in parsonages). How grown up is THAT!!
Of course, then I realize that I still burp and fart, something grown-ups just don't do, so it's OK. As long as you can maintain the gastric juices, you'll never truly be grown up.
i get that all the time. it feels like an out of body feeling, like this world isn't real and it's only your soul looking down on your body and realizing what you're doing.
I get that when I try to comprehend that I am a father to four daughters. I just sit and stare and realize I need a lot of grace and forgivness, and they offer it to me every day.
The thought also usually involves some silent expletive also when I realize I am so far over my head with this all.
I'm trying to give up blinking. It seems that I lose several months (at least) each instant my eyes close...
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