The Gradual Instant

There are those defining moments in life. Moments when you wish you could press pause so that you could soak in every last detail. Some of these moments we expect to come someday - I like to call them the classic moments - meeting our baby for the first time, holding a loved one's hand as they take their last breath, walking across the stage at graduation or walking down the aisle grasping our Dad's arm. And becoming engaged.

Ever since we are little girls we dream about the moment of engagement. When I was a teenager I used to think about all the most romantic moments possible, and I'd try to guess which one would be mine (and, I might add, I had some fantastic ideas if you need 'em). Then, when I got older and the whole marriage thing didn't seem to be happening any time soon, I decided I didn't care at all how I was proposed to, as long as it actually HAPPENED.

Well, as you've probably guessed by now, the whole proposal thing did finally happen. And, as promised, it was one of those moments that I have carefully wrapped in a silken cloth and put away in a box of gold. I have been carrying my little golden treasure in my pocket, and today I will open the lid and give you a just a peek.

Friday night we went to the school play. Apparently he had the ring in his pocket the whole time and was thinking of doing some kind of public thing on stage. He just wasn't feeling it, though, and figured he'd come up with a plan B. We went back to my place and didn't really have anything planned so we decided to read our relationship books (OK, I know that sounds super lame, especially now that I know he had a freakin' DIAMOND ring in his pocket the whole time).

So, we stood in the living room by the fire, just hugging and chatting (and maybe kissing a little). And we found ourselves stepping into something epic - into the gradual instant. It was a moment neither of us could have planned, nor could I have ever imagined something so beautiful, so true, and so real. The ring was burning a SERIOUS hole in Andy's pocket at this point, so he seized the moment and proposed.

Except, I didn't really believe him.

The moment I had waited for my whole life was upon me and I hadn't expected it at all. I didn't believe him mostly because I didn't believe that my proposal was happening right before my eyes. IT HAD COME -- FINALLY. After so many years of dreaming, so many years of heartache, so many years of searching, and so many years of living without him. Heart pounding, eyelids blinking, head savagely nodding, I told him yes!! I didn't know what to do with myself, so I danced around (which seemed like an appropriate response).

Yeah, so I have a pretty ring on my finger now. And I am getting married. And he is my beloved. God is SO GOOD.