Different Kinds of Puke

Date: Wednesday, February 14, 2007 (also known as Valentines Day)
Time: 8:32 a.m.
Location: Classroom #102, Langley Christian High School
Situation: Unlocking my room minutes before the bell

So, imagine me opening the door and being very confused. You see, it looked like Cupid threw up in my classroom. Red ribbons, balloons, cinnamon hearts, candy hearts, streamers, gaudy cupid hangings, heart stickers, a heart-shaped bell, rotating hearts hanging from the ceiling, red cellophane, and red glitter were EVERYWHERE. On every surface, on every wall, in every crevice. Apparently my special friends snuck into my room the night before and painstakingly decorated everything. I was distracted all day by both the warm fuzzies around my heart and the fuzzies on my teeth from eating so much candy. Then some roses got sent to me. Then we went out for dinner at The Keg and consumed vast amounts of red flesh and red spirits.

And I couldn't stop smiling all day.

Here is just a small sample of what greeted my eyes. And remember, the photos just don't do it justice:

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Date: Thursday, February 15, 2007
Time: 8:00 p.m. (ish)
Location: my bedroom
Situation: finally wrapping the care package I'm sending my sister in Korea (I meant to send it before Christmas - I even made her a Christmas CD, which I sent anyway)

I needed a better box to put everything in, so I decided to look under my bed where I sometimes store boxes (back in the day I used to have a shoe box collection under my bed, mostly becuase I didn't have the heart to throw them away - some o' dem boxes is nice)

Well, I looked under my bed and started screaming, and laughing, and shaking my head, and clutching my blankets. This is what I saw:


For those of you who have read my blogs as of late, you may remember a certain incident with a certain mysterious substance on my backpack. (I also store backpacks and duffle bags under my bed.) I was ecstatic to discover that the orange substance on my backpack had not, in fact, been part of an old moldy orange, but was rather an old, moldy PUMPKIN. Yes, yes, I've had a pumpkin under my bed since November. And, I like to think, it completely encapsulates one of my life's mottos: go big or go home. Thank you, little pumpkin, for not simply becoming half-assed moldy, but absolutely, beyond a shadow of a doubt beautiful in your ability to make me gag, and feel itchy, and be completely grossed out and incredulous, all at the same time! I have since thrown away the beautiful turquoise and purple Avon duffle bag the little pump was attached to. If you are wondering how in the world a pumpkin got under my bed in the first place, first ask yourself how well you know me, and then check out Andy's post from November 27.

(By the way, what does one use to pick up a moldy pumpkin, anyway? Why, a soup spoon, of course!)