I'm not dead. Promise. However, I think the old me has died a little. I have a different name, a different house, a different ROOMMATE, and a different teaching position. I now make the bed in the morning (most days), arrive to school on time (with lunch AND coffee in tow), hand back my assignments within a reasonable amount of time, have people over for dinner parties, buy cards for people in ADVANCE, brilliantly talk about Napoleon's war tactics, and basically exude awesomeness wherever I go.
I do miss the old me sometimes. I miss the girl who would post on her blog a little more regularly. The girl screeching into the parking lot moments before the second bell. The girl with discarded coffee mugs littered throughout her classroom, and molding pumpkins lurking in corners. The girl who was a flailing disaster.
I suppose it is a natural time for reflection: I've been married one month today. Everyone asks me how married life is, and I say with a smile, "Great!" I find it difficult to put into words how truly great it is, and do what we have any justice. It's enough to change me, refine me, peace me. I now get roses on my pillow, coffee with Bailey's handed to me, someone to drive my car, an EXTENSIVE music library, whispers, and unabashed farting. But it's more than what I simply get. It's also what I get to give -- so much is in me, waiting to be poured out. I'm on a Jolly Jumper inside, not quite sure how my muscles and everything work, but givin' 'er just the same. (uh, that was a serious metaphor - no innuendo intended)
I wonder how the old me will be manifested in this new me that is now two people -- both, coincidentally, being former disasters.
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4 comments:
I do hope this new you "pouring out" includes more frequent cutting of toe nails... that would really bless your new roommate's life.
ha! ian always complains about my toenails too. welcome to married life!
love from allana
[who hasn't updated her blog since march...]
Well - if you can keep up with all that - way to go! That requires a lot of discipline, but is totally worth it (the marking, the roses, the coffees, making the bed - NOT the farting).
Enjoy & relish this time - it's a great time - toenails or not!
I like the jolly-jumper metaphor. Even though you've said it's not an innuendo, I think that part of life is part of the new, the mystery that you're exploring.
I love the voracious appetite with which you consume life.
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